This really comes out because I had a long talk with a friend who I haven't really been in contact with. She's exploring various aspects of Paganism and Wicca, but that really isn't the point. The point is: the girl has had a lot of experiences I haven't. Right now I'm trying to decide how best to go about cutting all ties with a person who I've been involved with for well over a year now. And I'm positively terrified.
People have no right to control who I am, who I see/associate with or what I do. He has this peculiar power over me that I give (or rather, gave) him for some odd reason. I feel like now is the time (because I've been putting it off) to make the decision to cut ties and throw myself into it wholly. Being a wuss and "thinking we can still be friends" or "thinking I can have a relationship with someone else while he's in my life" is flat out dumb and utterly impossible.
Why do I feel the need to dedicate time and energy to a person who gives me so little in return? Why have I devoted myself to someone who seems to have so little affection for me? I'm not worthless and I shouldn't have to defend myself on the most basic of issues. Yet I am still gripped by fear, and I hope that I can rally the courage to make this decision. I have confidence in the wisdom of those wiser than me and in my growing feelings of dissatisfaction. The fear lingers, and I hope to soon master it.
So I 've taken some time to collect myself and think about how I've been feeling. Fear is a really gripping emotion that I don't often feel and I think that, to an extent, magical practice or spirituality can be a great source of stability and comfort.
That is not to say that magic can allay all of our fears and make the world all sunshine and rainbows, as any semi-experienced witch will tell you. Magic can, however, ground us deeply and provide a means through which we can seek the courage to overcome our fears. In this respect it is like any belief system or practice... but extremely meaningful to the people who are a part of it.
Having the support of my friends and family is extremely important, and having that magical support is just an added bonus.